Sometimes I just want someone to hug me, very tight.
People give up on me. One way or another. Sometimes I hurt them, scare them or overwhelm them. My mother has similar issues so its like dealing with another me. I need someone sraight sensed but everyone else doesnt understand. It feels as though I misunderstood. My therapists in the past had not diagnosed me with BPD until right before I moved away, somewhere almost impossible to find therapy without my mother here to sign off. Then the one I've run into hear replied as so;
"You do know Borderline Personality Disorder is generally revolved around attention seeking behaviors. Does that sound like you?"
Which I'm already afraid of speaking out about this knowing that people might think you are I'm emotionally unstable, selfish or manipulative, if they know I have BPD, I already instinctively avoid opening up and talking about it, I go for it and receive this? Not what I was hoping for. I hope in time, I can find someone I can be honest with so I'm not alone on thise. For now, there's always prices of me I hold in. Leave for myself to ponder and myself only. That's alright, for now.
People give up on me. One way or another. Sometimes I hurt them, scare them or overwhelm them. My mother has similar issues so its like dealing with another me. I need someone sraight sensed but everyone else doesnt understand. It feels as though I misunderstood. My therapists in the past had not diagnosed me with BPD until right before I moved away, somewhere almost impossible to find therapy without my mother here to sign off. Then the one I've run into hear replied as so;
"You do know Borderline Personality Disorder is generally revolved around attention seeking behaviors. Does that sound like you?"
Which I'm already afraid of speaking out about this knowing that people might think you are I'm emotionally unstable, selfish or manipulative, if they know I have BPD, I already instinctively avoid opening up and talking about it, I go for it and receive this? Not what I was hoping for. I hope in time, I can find someone I can be honest with so I'm not alone on thise. For now, there's always prices of me I hold in. Leave for myself to ponder and myself only. That's alright, for now.
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